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''Once upon a time, there were two men who were stuck until they went with the resistance and accepted what was.''
The notion of the paradoxical theory of change
As human beings we all have a number of highly evolved defence mechanisms intended to protect us. Change – initiated by ourselves or by others – activates our defences, which always strive to maintain the status quo. To achieve lasting change, we have to have emotional access to our inner core – the source of the problem. In a development process, the challenge is to move past the defences; otherwise, we can be our own worst enemy, as our defences work against us and throw up all sorts of resistance.
In all simplicity, the notion of the paradoxical theory of change is that we can achieve change by going with the resistance.