The king and queen are lying in bed. She is upset and ashamed. He asks what is up and makes her share her shame with him. She explains that it is shameful to feel sexual desire. He asks when that feeling arose in her. She recalls a specific incident from childhood, when her mother said that feeling sexual urges was wrong. That God was always watching. The king talks it over with her and she realizes that feeling desire is natural. They kiss, hug and share.

"Once upon a time, there was a man who knew that shame is dissolved by love and by articulating our feelings."

The notion of shame

Shame – unpleasant feeling of humiliation, guilt or embarrassment stemming from the awareness of having done something wrong or embarrassing.

The feeling of shame, which is the opposite of pride, is an emotional reaction that has its roots in our early childhood, around the age of two years. The feeling arises when we feel that we have failed to live up to what others require or expect of us. As adults we sometimes feel shame, and when our defences have not been consciously updated, we may psychologically regress to our early childhood. We may find ourselves in an unanticipated situation where we are incapable of handling our feelings and behaviour. The feeling of shame is a product of inadequate psychological insight and a lack of specific reflections on our experiences in the current situation. Many things can trigger shame if we have not addressed and considered what is our share of life. We can dissolve shame through reflection and by improving our emotional intelligence and thus reduce the risk of ending up in situations where we feel shame.

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