A noblewoman is crying and feeling sorry for herself.
The notion of self-pity
When we think no one else cares about us, we often feel sorry for ourselves. When we encounter resistance in life, we all react differently.
Some of us have lacked nurture and attention growing up. That affects us when we face a crisis, as we not only deal with the crisis but also with the pain that comes from the lack of nurture and inner resources.
We regress, become detached from our responsible, mature selves and feel sorry for ourselves for being in this difficult situation. Our defences are so effective that if anyone actually does care for us, we fail to notice it and stay stuck in the familiar territory of self-pity. Our defences thus prevent us from moving forward and also reduce the inclination of the people around us to show nurture, support and compassion, because they find our self-pity annoying.
Moreover, our defences keep us in an passive, self-absorbed state where we deny our personal responsibility and fail to take action to deal with the current crisis.