The beautiful, confident princess walks past a group of noblemen, who all think she’s lovely. Then a whistling country lad walks by. The blushing princess instantly falls for him. The country lad does not notice the princess and continues unaware, whistling a merry tune. The princess stops in her tracks, feels rejected and yells at the lad, who has no idea what hit him.
''Once upon a time, there was a woman who believed that the rejection she faced when she wanted something came from the people around her, not from herself.''
The notion of rejection
Within the school of therapy I was trained in, we say that the only person who can reject you – is you. If you want something, if you have a need you want to fulfil or something you wish to attain, you have to keep trying until you either get what you want, or the rejection gets so crass that you no longer want it. That may seem to be an insult to your pride, but the consequence of abandoning your wish is that you fail to get what you hope for, and that you will be upset. Resignation is not conducive to self-esteem, love or a good quality of life. The rejection model promotes self-esteem when you take your needs and wishes seriously.
It is then up to the other person to either approve or turn down your requests. If you have the energy for several or many, increasingly persistent verbalizations of your request, the other person will either have to fall for you or become increasingly crass in his or her rejection.