The king proudly shows off his new carriage. He sees a beggar and takes pity on him. He offers him food and a new set of clothes. The nobleman thinks the king is being too much - and the king is puzzled.

"Once upon a time, there was a man who knew that when someone felt he was being too much, it was because they were not being enough."

The notion of being too much

When we see something or someone we struggle to deal with, we want it or them to tone it down or stop what they are doing. We try to change the outside world, making it pipe down, because we lack tolerance and personal insight. ‘You’re too much,’ we might say, because we have not learned other ways of coping.

People who are very active, who make big gestures and who are inspiring, charismatic, extrovert, visionary, creative, fired up, confident and, perhaps, in fact internally insecure often make us feel inferior, which activates our defences. We may begin to claim that they are too much and resort to name-calling, slander or even bullying, because they make us feel insecure.

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